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“Ah ah! James, why you dey scatter everywhere like this now?”
“Baba my babe is coming today, infact ehn, I will soon leave to rent generator for 2k at Baba Bisi’s place,” James said enthusiastically.

Tunde became perplexed and started to soliloquize, “is something wrong with this guy? This is not the first time this lady is coming here, their relationship is over 2 years old and this guy is still acting like he just met this girl.” Tunde was still thinking before James’ voice brought him back to reality.

“Tunde, hope all is well,” James said as he moves close to his friend, “all is not well! I think you are sick, very sick, why do you always have to do unreasonable things to please this girl like you just met her today, the girl doesn’t even know you, you are always trying to be who you are not to please her, when will you come out of this shit? For how long do you think you’ll be able to do this?!” Tunde barked at his friend amidst anger, frustration and deep concern for his dear friend.

“Ehm ehm ehm,” James wanted to talk but nothing seem to come out of his mouth apart from the stammer, Tunde cuts in, “what’s with the ehm! Ehm! Ehm! What has MMM got to do with this?” Tunde asks sarcastically.

“Ehm! Tunde, you see, I’ve been thinking about this too but I just have this feeling, she might not love me again if I do not do these things, you know women these days now, no money, no love and I do not blame them for that.” James said squeezing his face.
Tunde sits on his friend’s bed and gestures to him to do the same, James obliges and Tunde begins to look at the lifeless television at their front like he was going to pick his words from there, “you see bro, I agree with the no money, no love stuff but that doesn’t mean, we should become unreasonable or not logical because we want to balance things, if you continue this way, when you guys get married, as far as I am concerned, she will expect you to continue this same thing and if you try to make her understand things then, the probability that she will understand you will be to your own disadvantage, like 20-30%,” Tunde pauses like he was waiting for a signal from his friend to continue, “I dey feel you bro,” continue, James said to give his friend the assurance he’s listening.

“Shebi na gen you dey go rent now, when you guys marry ehn, you’ll be forced to do more than that to please her, my candid advice is, bro, stop forcing yourself to do these things, when you have the money, try your best to satisfy her but when you don’t, let her know you don’t, if she loves you, she won’t leave you because you do not have today,” James cuts in, “hmmm, person wey no get today fit get tomorrow oh,” James said amidst smiles, “Yes, she should not expect you to always satisfy her, there are times you won’t be able to, those times, if she truly loves you and she has the capacity to do that which you could not do, she will do it and as a responsible person too, you should try to pay her back or reciprocate the gesture immediately you have, I think that way, you guys will be able to complement one another and not one person doing all while the other person will just be there, after all the bible also says, “two will come together to become one,” if that ain’t happening, then the relationship isn’t good for the both of you, it’ll be better you just go your separate ways now,” Tunde said fixing his gaze on his friend.

“So, if she comes today and I do not put on the generator as usual and she complains rather than try to proffer a solution, she isn’t good for me?” James asks looking at the ground in other to avoid looking into his friend’s eyes.
“Well, if she gets angry and leaves or says bad words to make you look incompetent, still try to make her understand you won’t always be able to satisfy her, infact no guy will always be able to satisfy her, if she reasons with you fine and if not, baba let her go and look for Mr Perfect elsewhere, maybe by the time she gets to heaven, she’ll see one there.” Tunde said beaming with smile.

“You know bro, having someone like you around is a blessing even though you always act like a fool sometimes, besides, how come you don’t even have a girlfriend and you know these things?” James asks his friend that is already in the kitchen looking for what to feast on with a puzzled face.

“Well, I think you should have seen that popular stuff on the internet where it’s written, “coaches don’t play,” I am a coach bro and you are the player! Tunde manages to scream at his friend with his mouth filled with food.

“Ehn! James screams as he runs to the kitchen to see what his friend is up to, yeh! Betty’s food,” James shouted as he puts his two hands on his head, we will prepare another one for her,” Tunde manages to say, gesticulating with the spoon in his hand, they both enter a scuffle, dragging the pot from one another to devour what’s left of the food.

Oluwadamilare Lamina
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